Tangled in barbed wire
by maeedwards
Summary: When Edwards leaves, Bella falls into a depression. So deep, that she just wants to end her life. ONE-SHOT.


**RUSSIAN ROULETTE {ONE-SHOT}**

**Russian roulette:** A dangerous and deadly game in which a revolver has one or more bullets into the chamber. The chamber is then spun around and snapped into position, leaving no idea as to the bullet's exact position. People then take turns putting the gun to their head and pulling the trigger, hoping it falls on an empty chamber.

**Summary:**

When Edward leaves, Bella falls into a depression, so badly that she wants to just end her life. What better way to do it then to play a game of Russian roulette?

*Based on new moon, when Edward leaves for her own good*

"_If you play, you play for keeps  
Take a gun, and count to three  
I'm sweating now, moving slow  
No time to think, my turn to go_

_And you can see my heart beating  
You can see it through my chest  
And I'm terrified but I'm not leaving  
Know that I must pass this test  
So just pull the trigger."_

**Bella's POV; **  
My throat felt blocked up, and my tear-ducts so dry, unable to produce a single tear. I wanted to burst out crying, at the thought of him leaving, at the remembrance of how much he meant to me. He **is**my life. Every little thing was just a reminder of how much I truly wanted to die, and in one second, that can all fall into reality.

I shuddered at the faint click of the gun, echoing around the room as it fell into an empty chamber. There was a sigh, before the person horizontal from me placed the gun back on the table. There were two more people before my turn, and quite a few had already had theirs, yet it still hadn't shot yet. This only meant that I was so much closer to what I came here to do.

Fed up with life, I decided to visit this abandoned shack to play a game of Russian roulette. Overall it's better than to hang myself, or attempt something more slowly like drowning … I'd just hesitate to do it. This was the quick and easy way to do it, and I've heard that it's so quick that you won't feel a thing. Unlike the pain I felt scarred on the hole where my heart used to be, when he left.

I felt dizzy, nauseous, and in some way sad. Whilst I sat there awaiting my turn, I had tried to think of all the reasons why I shouldn't try to kill myself. There were so many, though just not enough compared to the reasons why I wanted to put the gun to my head and paint the walls with my brain. The number of reasons to go through with it was overpowering over the reasons worth living.

It was getting harder to breathe now, and it felt like I was slowly being suffocated with my own guilt. I flinched as I heard the gun snap into an empty chamber on the person two seats away from me. It was getting closer to my turn. There will be no turning back once that loaded gun rests in my palms.

I hadn't told Jake, but knowing him he would probably get worried and attempt to find me anyway, but I doubt it. No one had known I had come here, Charlie was out hunting, and Jake was probably hanging with Embry and Quil.

The woman beside me looked like she was in her late twenty's. Though you could tell she smoked by the way her teeth looked, which just made her look much older. Her wrists had faint, yet deep cuts on them, and her skin had marks as if she had been injecting who knows what into herself. I covered the wound on my wrist nervously, from when Edward saved me from James.

As for everyone else, they were either drug addicts, stoners, depressed or had an alcohol addiction. I was so different to everyone here, but I don't deserve to live, I don't WANT to live. Not without Edward, I just can't.

I was so caught up with just thinking about everything, when a sharp click brought me back to reality. The woman beside me had already taken her turn, as she placed the gun back on the table. She nudged it over to me, as it slid across the table, aiming at my chest.

I was shaking so much that I could barely hold the gun properly. As I aimed it at my head, my whole life flashed before my eyes, like a horror movie you don't want to watch, though cannot bare to look away from. Childhood, teenage years, my mother, Charlie, Jacob ... Edward. Every single detail of my life that I could remember, even the ones I wanted to forget. Maybe I shouldn't kill myself. I just don't know anymore. Without Edward, I'm nothing.

"Bella." I could have sworn that I had heard my name being called, but I shrugged it off.

My palms started sweating like crazy, as I took a few deep breaths. My eyes were shut as tight as they could go, I was ready to die.

I began to count out loud, trying to soothe the feeling.

3...

I tightened my grip around the gun, breathing in heavily.

2...

I was about to pull the trigger, when I heard my name being yelled from the other side of the room. I ignored it, but opened my eyes just as I got ready to pull the trigger.

1... I stuttered under my breath. My eyes opened a little bit, to see my last sight if my life were to end this second.

"BELLA! DON'T.."

My hand slipped on the gun, flicking the trigger faintly, and releasing the aim. The bullet shot towards my head, with only a second of the most invigorating pain you could feel in your life. Yet in the blink of an eye, as I fell to the floor covered in my own blood; the last sight in my life...

It was Edward.

See you on the other side.


End file.
